Maybe Some Potential

Well hello!  It's been a while since I wrote last.  I guess when you keep a blog you're supposed to show at least some consistency in writing so I'm going to work on that, if for no other reason than to log my own journey more regularly.  Journals are wonderful things.

I wish I could say things are totally different than they were the last time I wrote, but I can't.  Some things are better though.  And here is my favorite different thing....

I'm feeling hopeful.  I'm feeling more freedom than I have ever felt, I think.  Because I'm finally starting to find out who I am.

I was terrified, not long ago, of making any changes in my life; of finding out who I truly was.  Mostly out of fear of the change but also because I was afraid of what I might find.  Will I be recognizable to others if I changed?  Would my husband still love me?  Would I even like myself?

As painful as this whole thing has been with my mother, I am thankful.  I'm finding out, for the first time in my life, that there is potential for me.  That I can try and fail and get back up again.  That I can try and succeed.  And it feels SO GOOD!! 

So many times I heard that I would not amount to anything.  That I would be a miserable person that everyone hated.  That no one would have any respect because I was unworthy of receiving respect from others.

But I don't think that's true anymore.  I actually think that was all very, very wrong.

I am finding a joy and happiness in seeing my own worth that I never could have imagined.

Do you have the hope of joy for what God has created you to be?  I pray you do.  He has created beautiful you.